One of the most common things we get asked about here at The Sisters Enchanted is how can I tell people what I need, what I want, what I desire.

This can be someone in our free Self-Care classes or book club asking how to I go about telling my partner that I need more ‘me time’ for self-care and need some help doing some of the other things I have to do each day to be able to make that possible. 

Or it may be someone wanting to join and purchase Holistic Witchery or one of our other programs and asking us how they go about having a conversation with their husband about spending the money on an investment in themselves.

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Some folks ask us how to have a conversation about coming out of the broom cupboard and telling their family that they have an interest in tarot, astrology and all things spiritual and esoteric if they fear it may not be something their family is ready to accept too easily.

All of these are examples of how we have this tendency to put ourselves on the struggle bus when it comes to communicating our needs and desires to others around us.

The great news is that we can do something to make these kinds of conversations easier to approach and less awkward and cumbersome by using some of our magical tools to help us to think differently about communication and how we go about it.

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Rethinking Communication

When it comes to communicating the tough stuff, like out wants, needs and desires, it can really help to think about communication in a different way, exploring what it means on an energetic level and at the level of the elements. This can empower us to reframe the messages we are trying to share together with our reactions to the way others perceive them.

An Energetic Approach to Communication 

We can look at communication at an energetic level by exploring the Seven Energy Centers, the Western version of the Seven Chakras. 

Energy Center Five, the Throat is the energy center most involved with communication – the things we say and how we listen to others and perceive communication. So, this is a great place to start. But the energy centers work as a system and we need to also understand what energies feed our throat energy center and how this impacts our communication. 

Energy Center Four, our heart feeds the throat. This is our center of unconditional love – towards ourselves and towards others.

This, in turn, is fed by Energy Center Three – our solar plexus, the center of our energies around strength, perseverance, tenacity, grit and self-confidence.

Our solar plexus, heart and throat form the core of our energy centers and this core of energy influences our communication. 

To communicate effectively we need unconditional love for ourselves to be able to freely share with others what it is we need and desire from them. We need unconditional love for others so we can explore and understand why they may not be hearing us right or be able to understand what it is we are asking for straight away. To know when we need to approach things in a different way rather than immediately expressing hurt, judgment and anger.

A heart of unconditional love comes from the solar plexus feeding it with confidence and strength.

Effective communication comes when all three of these core energy centers are open and balanced. Through paying them attention and learning through our experiences we can enable these core energy centers to grow and expand, providing us with more and more confidence and unconditional love and, in turn, stronger and more effective communication, especially around the tough stuff!

 Communication and Tarot

Tarot is another really great tool to use when communication gets tough, especially when you are feeling misunderstood and unable to get the message across about your needs and desires.

The suite of Swords gives us the story of communication. Swords represent the element of air – our thoughts and so can provide great insight into our inner communications and the stories we tell ourselves about our communication with others. 

We often enter tough communication with a preconceived story, or idea, about how it is going to go. This can preempt the outcome before you utter a single word. 

For example, if you are telling someone you need a change in attitude from them over something, you may go in with the idea,  “I am going to have to fight you for this!” means you go into the conversation all guns blazing, ready for a fight.  You could, instead, go in with the mindset,  “whatever happens, the outcome will help me see what action needs to be taken next.”

A great exercise to help you explore these stories and reframe them to help you communicate more effectively is to lay out all the sword cards, from ace to ten, and explore what the imagery on the cards is telling you about your situation.

For example, the eight of swords typically shows someone tied up around their arms, blindfolded and surrounded by the eight swords. However, if you take a closer look, you will always see that the tie is loose enough for them to wriggle out of, they can then take off their blindfold to see that the swords do not cage them completely, there is space to walk out.

The swords tell the story of how our thoughts and mindsets can cause us to hurt and harm ourselves, especially through how we communicate with others.  

The eight of swords is really challenging us to think about a situation we are in and how we can change our thoughts and story around, thus throwing off the shackles our ideas had kept us in, removing the blindfold to see things in a new way, to see the new story and then walking away from our own thoughts that were holding us back.

Working through the swords really is a great way to help you to change your thoughts and perspective and go into tough conversations and communications with a new idea and mindset.

Self-care, boundaries and communication

Self-care and self-development through living an intentional life are at the heart of everything we do at The Sisters Enchanted. To live this way demands expressing your needs and desires to others to enable you to find the time you need for them and place the boundaries you need to protect it.

Being able to have conversations about the things you need, want and desire starts with confidence and unconditional love for yourself and those around you. Working through the swords in a tarot deck can help you to change your ideas and stories around your confidence, strength, tenacity and unconditional love and get yourself filled with the right energy to go into these tough conversations in a way that will best foster effective communication.

You’ve got this!

Did you know you can build yourself a podcast playlist on your podcast platform.

Why not build yourself a playlist to take the ideas in this podcast further by adding podcasts about the sword tarot suite and making time for self-care?

We have several podcasts that will team up super well with this one so go search and explore and build your own playlist library!