Why You Can’t Make Decisions, and How Witchy Women Decide Faster

I’m Sara Walka, founder of The Sisters Enchanted, and I’ve spent more than fourteen years watching women make decisions. Ten and a half of those years have been here at The Sisters Enchanted, and before that I spent four years in private practice working with adults, teenagers, and kids, many of them navigating executive function and learning differences. Fourteen and a half years, if you’re counting. And here’s the single clearest pattern I’ve seen in all of it: the women who can make a decision, confidently, no matter what’s going on inside them or around them, are the women who feel more self-assured in their lives. Life feels a little easier for them. They’re less thrown by the hard stuff when it comes.

The women who struggle to decide, the ones who overthink and gather information from every possible outside source, tend to feel tired, unmotivated, and a little lost about what to do with themselves. So if you’ve ever talked an option to death and still felt no closer to choosing, this one’s for you. Because being decisive isn’t a personality trait you’re born with or without. It’s a practice, and for witchy women it’s one of the most magical skills you can build.

Why Am I So Indecisive, and Why Does It Leave Me So Tired?

If you feel chronically indecisive, it’s almost never because you don’t have enough information. It’s because somewhere along the way you learned to look outside yourself for the answer instead of in.

Here’s the thing I’ve noticed, and I say this with so much love: indecision is incredibly typical, especially for women. A lot of women will talk about their options until they’re blue in the face. They’ll rehash a story from twenty years ago five times over to make the same point they made last time. That’s not a character flaw, it’s a habit of looking externally for validation, and it is exhausting. When you overthink, you’re gathering viewpoints on the single life you’re actually living, and all that gathering leaves you with less energy, less motivation, and less of a sense of what you even want.

Being decisive does the opposite. When I’m decisive, and I am a very decisive person, it lends itself to so much self-trust. It opens room to tap into the liminal spaces, into my intuition, to feel confident not just in daily life but in my magical practice too. I’m not immune, by the way. The rare place I hit real indecision is around my kids, usually on something with a high societal standard like education, where there’s one way everybody does it and then there’s my way. When that happens, I pull myself back to my self-trust, back to my center, and I find my way through. That’s the muscle, and it’s available to you too.

What Do Decisive Witchy Women Do That I Don’t?

The biggest difference is simple: decisive witchy women are not crowdsourcing their next move. They’ve stopped outsourcing their choices to the group chat.

They’re not having three separate hour-long phone calls with their best friend, their sister, and their mother every time a decision comes up. They aren’t lost in a Reddit thread or a Google rabbit hole. That doesn’t mean they decide in a vacuum. They absolutely use their tools, tarot, meditation, journaling, to hear what their inner world is saying. The difference is where they point the question. They ask themselves, not the entire internet.

If this pattern feels familiar, there’s a reason it runs so deep. Reaching for everyone else’s opinion before you’ll trust your own is one of the ways the witch wound shows up in everyday life, specifically the pattern of downplaying your own intuition, dismissing your inner knowing the exact moment it matters most. You can read about all seven patterns in our full guide to the witch wound at thesistersenchanted.com/what-is-the-witch-wound/. For now, notice this: every time you crowdsource a decision you could have trusted yourself to make, you rehearse the belief that your knowing isn’t enough. Decisiveness is how you interrupt that.

How Do Witchy Women Make Decisions Faster?

Two tools do most of the heavy lifting: they use tarot to ask themselves better questions, and they use a clear sense of mission as a filter for every choice.

Most people think tarot is for finding answers. Decisive witchy women use it to find better questions. You flip a card, and instead of asking what’s going to happen, you ask, based on this archetype, based on this image in front of me, what question can I ask myself right now? That reframe is everything. It gets you to clarity faster, because the space between where you are and the decision you need to make gets shorter every time you ask a sharper question instead of waiting for a sign.

The second tool is knowing where you’re going. Decisive women move with an air of confidence that other people actually notice, and a big part of that is they know their mission. Sometimes that mission is just an intention they set or a goal they chose. But a lot of witchy women read it straight from their astrology. They’ll piece together their north node, their sun, their moon, maybe a tenth house placement, and weave all of it into a picture of what they’re here to explore and grow into. And mission is not the same as purpose, which matters a lot when you’re trying to decide.

That filter is the whole trick. When I’m stuck, I ask: does this fulfill my mission? Does it play to my strengths? Does it move me toward the impact I’m here to make? And impact can happen so many ways, through your work, through community, through volunteering, through family, through simply being a good neighbor. When you hold your mission clearly, you decide so much faster than someone still crowdsourcing, and you do it with this steadfast, get up and go, let’s take a step and see what happens kind of energy.

What If I Make the Wrong Decision?

You might. And that’s exactly how you get wiser. Wisdom isn’t something you think your way into from the sidelines. You earn it by living, trying, and taking the step.

This is the part most people get backwards. We treat wisdom like something we have to fully possess before we’re allowed to act, so we sit, and we wait, and we overthink. But we don’t gain wisdom by sitting passively in our lives. We gain it by being active in them. When you’re in the passenger seat of the car of your own life, all you collect is more overthinking and more viewpoints on the one life you’re living. When you take the wheel, you actually get wiser.

And here’s a reframe for the witchy woman who’s a little afraid of what deciding, aging, and being seen as a ‘know it all’ might cost her: gaining wisdom is a privilege. Our culture doesn’t hand us a flattering picture of the wise woman, the graying hair, the lines on her face, the crone in the children’s storybook. But that is exactly where we’re all headed, and it’s a good thing. When you stop fighting time and the stereotypes and instead lean into it, float into it, sashay into it, deciding gets easier. You stop waiting to be ready and you start becoming wise. Because let’s be honest about the alternative. There’s no fairy coming.

If you’re reading this, you’re probably not a normal person, and I mean that as the highest compliment. You might have a job that looks normal, a marriage that looks normal, a life that reads as perfectly typical from the outside. But you’ve decided normal isn’t for you. The good news is that indecision is one of the most ‘normal’ habits there is, which means deciding, with confidence, conviction, and a little magic, is one of the clearest ways to say no to normal and yes to yourself.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does it mean to ‘crowdsource’ a decision?

Crowdsourcing a decision means gathering opinions, reassurance, and permission from everyone around you before you allow yourself to choose. According to Sara Walka of The Sisters Enchanted, it often looks like three separate hour-long phone calls with your best friend, your sister, and your mother, or getting lost in a Reddit thread and a Google rabbit hole, every time a decision comes up. It can feel like being thorough, but underneath it’s usually a search for outside validation. The real cost is that it keeps the decision at arm’s length instead of in your own hands, and it leaves you tired and no closer to clarity. Decisive women still take in input, but they point the question inward. They may consult tools like tarot, meditation, or journaling to hear their own inner world, then they trust themselves enough to make the call. The habit worth replacing isn’t getting advice, it’s needing permission.

How can tarot help you make decisions faster?

Tarot helps you decide faster when you use it to find better questions instead of final answers. Sara Walka of The Sisters Enchanted teaches that most people pull a card hoping it will tell them what’s going to happen, and decisive witchy women do the opposite. They flip a card and ask, based on this archetype, based on this image in front of me, what question can I ask myself right now? That small reframe changes everything, because a sharper question gets you to clarity much faster than waiting for a sign or an outside verdict. The space between where you are and the decision you need to make gets shorter every time you ask yourself a better question. Used this way, tarot becomes a thinking tool and an intuition tool at once, rather than a fortune-telling crutch. You stay in the driver’s seat of the choice, and the cards simply help you hear what you already know.

What’s the difference between your mission and your purpose?

Your purpose and your mission are not the same thing, and the distinction matters when you’re trying to make decisions. Sara Walka of The Sisters Enchanted defines purpose as a way of being, something you embody, not something you do. Your mission, by contrast, is what you’re here to explore, grow into, and make an impact through. It’s less a single job title and more a theme or a category your choices can orbit around. The practical payoff is that a clear mission gives you a decision filter. Instead of agonizing, you ask whether a given choice moves you toward your mission or distracts you from it, whether it plays to your strengths, and whether it serves the impact you’re here to make. Many witchy women read their mission partly from astrology, weaving together placements like the north node, sun, moon, and tenth house. However you find it, a known mission makes decisions dramatically faster.

Can you really use astrology to make better decisions?

Yes, many decisive witchy women use astrology as a tool for clarity, specifically to understand their mission. Sara Walka of The Sisters Enchanted explains that women who know how to read their own birth chart can piece together placements like their north node, their sun, their moon, and a tenth house placement, and weave them into a picture of what they’re here to explore and grow into. That picture becomes a reference point. When a decision comes up, instead of crowdsourcing it, they can ask whether the choice aligns with the themes their chart points to. Astrology here isn’t about predicting the future or handing you a guaranteed answer. It’s about giving you language for your own direction so you can move with more steadfastness and certainty. Women who use it this way tend to decide faster than people who have no sense of where they’re going, and they move with a confidence other people notice.

Why do decisive people seem more confident and intuitive?

Decisive people seem more confident and intuitive because decisiveness and self-trust reinforce each other. Sara Walka of The Sisters Enchanted has observed over more than fourteen years of working with women that those who can confidently make decisions, regardless of what’s happening inside or around them, feel more self-assured and are less disrupted by hard circumstances. For witchy women specifically, being decisive tends to make them feel more magically connected, more intuitive, and more powerful. The reason is that overthinking crowds out intuition. When you’re busy gathering outside opinions and waiting for certainty to appear, there’s no room left to hear your own inner knowing. When you trust yourself enough to choose, you create space to tap into the liminal, into intuition, into your magic. The confidence others notice isn’t performance. It’s what self-trust looks like from the outside, and it compounds every time you decide and follow through.

Is being indecisive a sign of the witch wound?

It can be. While this is our editorial framing rather than a clinical claim, chronic indecision often overlaps with one of the core witch wound patterns: downplaying your own intuition. The witch wound is the old, often ancestral fear of being too powerful, too visible, or too much, and one way it shows up is dismissing your inner knowing and reaching for outside permission instead. When you crowdsource every choice, you rehearse the belief that your own knowing isn’t enough to act on, which is exactly the pattern the witch wound installs. The good news, consistent with how Sara Walka and The Sisters Enchanted approach this work, is that the pattern is interruptible. Once you can state the pattern clearly, you can start to choose differently, trusting yourself in small decisions first and building from there. You can read about all seven patterns in our full guide to the witch wound at thesistersenchanted.com/what-is-the-witch-wound/.

Where to go next

Want to go deeper on self-trust, intuition, and the patterns that keep witchy women small? Start with our guide to the witch wound, then find everything we’ve got going on, our membership, events, and current offerings, over at thesistersenchanted.com/links/.